The Dick Times: News that Bites!
Dateline The Bible Belt: 3 October

The True Believer!

George Bush, alleged receiver of God's Direct Commands,
demands electorate's attention to channeled Holy Word!

"God wills we spill the Moo-lahs' blood
to make Iraqis free!"
says he from Oval pulpit.

"We'll pray for their lost souls
which roast eternally in spider holes!
My DVD, just out this week, will tell the truth!"

Dick sez: I quote from Book of Ruth:
"Thou hast not followed young men neither poor nor rich."
So,,, Why stick with THIS sum' bitch?

AND! HOT NEW FEATURE! Dick's Bible Prophecy!
In which dat ol' debbil Dick quotes scripture!
( More from Ruth, drawn from both the King James Version
and the Douay-Confraternity Catholic Bibles as it suits our wicked ends )

1/21: I went out full and the Lord hath brought me home again empty.
( grounds for appropriating Iraq's oil reserves )

3/14 And she arose before men could know one another.
( grounds for gay marriage ban )

4/2 And Booz ( sic. ) taking ten men of the ancients of the city
said to them sit ye down here.
( a poly-prophetic passage alluding to, a. Bush's surname,
b. Bush's nickname, and, c. the president's secret plan
to pack the Supreme Court with one extra justice! )

Hallelujah, Amen

Jim Mall Chicago