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Minus Five #4: The Return of Minus Five

The return of Minus Five--a quick and hopefully witty look at recent events written in the style (but not the ethics) of Steve Rosenbloom.
Minus Five #4: The Return of Minus Five

MINUS ONE: WE CRY FOR THEE, ARGENTINA

The Argentine economy is screaming, and has been turning the Argentine presidency into a merry-go-round.

Fears of the spreading Argentine virus might puree hopes to pass the Free Trade Area of the Americas.

And remember: the next Summit of the Americas, which may seal the FTAA's fate, will be held next year in Buenos Aires.

MINUS TWO: (D'OH)A

The World Trade Organization barely squeezed out a rain check at its Fourth Ministerial in November 2001. All it took was coercion, extorsion, blackmail, a ministerial in sunny and repressive Qatar...

And the last shred of legitimacy the WTO had left.

MINUS THREE: SOMETIMES THESE THINGS JUST WRITE THEMSELVES

Headline from the New York Times, August 28, 2001, pg. A13: "First School of Astrology is Accredited"

"Dateline--Scottsdale, AZ: A school here in suburban Phoenix [the Astrological Institute], where students learn to write horoscopes and give advice about the future, has won accreditation from a federally recognized body [the Accrediting Commission of Career Schools and Colleges of Technology]."

But wait. The article ends: "Astrology contends that a person's character and fate are directed at birth by the position of the sun, the moon, and the planets. This is charted in a horoscope, which is often done these days with computer software."

Imagine that: a tool built by scientists being used for pseudoscience.

MINUS FOUR: A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND LAUGHS

The cover photo of the Summer 2001 issue of ?Hasta cuando? features a caption labelled "Tres Tetas", translated "three boobs": a woman in a low-cut dress standing right next to George W. Bush.

MINUS FIVE: FRINGE BENEFITS

"Regulators Urge Easing U.S. Rules on Air Pollution" read a front page headline in the New York Times, January 8, 2002. "Gain for Power Industry"

Apparently, these regulators sold their souls to industry and got as an added bonus not having to breathe.
 
 

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