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And Now, The President of The United States: George W. Bush

And Now, The President of The United States: George W. Bush
My Fellow Americans,

By now the whole world has taken notice that there have been no weapons of mass destruction found in Iraq: no biological, chemical, much less nukyulur weapons. And well, I guess that all of those years of war with Iran, sanctions and dismantling of their military kinda softened them up, hehehe! But c'mon now America, don't go getting sore. This development might make some of you especially cynical, particularly in light of the fact that we still have not successfully made the impossible connection between Saddam the pseudo-Stalinist with Bin Laden: the religious fanatic who said he wanted "to decapitate Saddam". And those of you public television types and Arab immigrants who remember that it was the US who assisted Saddam to power in the sixties, well, ha ha, I imagine your blood is about to boil! Now, of course, not too many folks are too happy about the fact that our little war will cost you taxpayers over one hundred billion dollars! And I'd guess that that one of the most confusing things for my fellow Americans was when recently, when all this "support the troops" stuff is going on, I went and lopped billions off of the budget from the V.A.. I suppose y'all know they been havin' a hard time already makin' ends meet in their hospitals and all. But, golly are you so hard-hearted that you can't forget all your worries after watching video of toppling statues and a few hundred excited Iraqis looped ad-nauseum on any one of our wonderful toady news networks?


Now, now, just calm your self down while I explain a couple of things to y'all. First of all, you have to remember that John Q Public never wants to go to war. Why heck, eighty percent of America did not want to fight WW2, until FDR incited the Japs to bomb one of our colonies. Then everyone rallied around the flag, and now the rest is glorious patriotic inspiring history. And lets go really far back in history to remember all of the wonderful new states we got when Taft tricked the public into thinking that Mexico was about to invade! He he he! Now can you imagine an America without Texas?! I promise you, my fellow Americans, more spoils with each new war! So don't feel so bad that we had to lie to you. Can't y'all see: it's the American way. We presidents been doin' y'all a favor by keeping the uncomfortable truth out of your reach...out of your reach until the real objectives are accomplished and it no longer matters what really brought us to war. For the time being you can just tell yourself that we invaded because we love freedom, and wanted to spread it around to our pals. And you can be sure that we'll install just as nice of a leader as the one our CIA helped to power in Iraq back in the Sixties.

Lastly, and most importantly you should remember that laws, treaties and promises are for you folks: the suckers, the little people. Laws, my fellow Americans, are for you rabble to abide, not us, and certainly not the corporations who are the substance of our power. Accountability? Sentimental hogwash! So if you wonder why we don't play by the rules, they just plain and simple don't apply to us. What kind of democracy would we have if we went along by the book all the time? Some kinda European or Scandinavian deal, certainly not American.


God Bless America!

NOW GET BACK TO WORK AND SHUT UP!

George W. Bush
 
 

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