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Springfield Chamber of Commerce Welcomes More Africans than African-Americans

23 Skidoo: Public Relations for the Imagination
Chamber of Commerce Welcomes More Africans Than African-Americans

SPRINGFIELD, ILLINOIS—As the year ended, an observer confirmed that the number of Africans crossing the threshold of the Springfield Chamber of Commerce exceeded the number of Springfield African-Americans doing so.

The Africans, a delegation from Zimbabwe, attended a Chamber board meeting earlier in the summer in a carefully orchestrated photo opportunity for local business leaders and government officials. “We figured [the Africans] weren’t much of a threat, since they didn’t speak English,” said Board Chairman Todd Smith. Asked if the Africans attempted any discussion of the desperate conditions of their homeland, devastated mostly because of the policies of institutions very much like our local Chamber of Horrors, witnesses said they recalled no such discussion between the “Feeling Good” tour delegation of Africans and the local business elite. “They were wandering around saying, ‘Ou est les toilets?’”

Official comment from the Chamber disagrees with the measurement of data. “We believe there is no substantial difference between the two groups, Africans and African-Americans. Both groups are darker than us, speak unintelligible English, and have no influence or impact on the way we make our policies to squeeze every last drop of sweat and blood from their bodies.”

Local activists had no comment as they were left speechless.

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